Thursday, February 23, 2012

You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for

I haven’t written anything here in over a year. Long time. I guess when life gets hectic some things tend to be sacrificed. A lot has happened in the 16 months since I’ve been on here, but I’m not here to talk about that. Right now, I intend to vent my frustrations. I really need something I can just release all my emotions on and this seems like the perfect place to.

Too bad people don’t fall in love at the same pace, at the same time, for the same reasons, and it’s too bad that those emotions don’t move simultaneously. But each bit of madness moved at its own pace, one not dependent on the pace of anyone else. Falling in love is a solo act. I knew that, I just learned the hard way. People say that it’s the bad memories that cause the most pain, but actually, I think that it’s the good ones that drive you insane.

So, I have made my decision, world: I’m throwing in the dating towel. I’ve decided that I am not going to keep dating a million guys to compensate for my future husband’s inability to adhere to my odd demand that he shows up by the time I'm 30. I am just not going to look for him quite as hard anymore and just trust that if he decides to come along, my life will be enhanced. Hopefully, one day he will find his way into my life.

To my future rad-awesome-kick ass husband,
I am sure, as with all things, we won’t find each other until the time is absolutely right. So, until we meet, don’t give up finding me. I promise I’m around…
Cakes. Your future mind blowing-stunning-wonderful wife.

To the rest of you, thanks for letting me vent.

Till later,
Whole lotta love.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Jesus Christ! It's Yom Kippur!!!

Yom Kippur, the day of atonement and the day where you have to go 25 hours without food and drink. Already, your belly is not happy with you. It's grumbling, pleading - why God why. According to tradition, God has a pretty good reason. This is the time of year when each Jew's fate is sealed in the Book of Life. Jews use this time for soul searching and asking God and their fellow humans for forgiveness for their sins. This is your last chance to change God's judgment, make amends, forgive and forget.

On this day, the following restrictions cannot be broken within the 25-hour period of fasting and prayer: eat or drink (including water), wash, wear makeup or deodorant, wear leather shoes, TV, radio, phone, computer, and have sex. The idea is that you are removing yourself from worldly concerns and focusing on spiritual ones, most importantly repentance for your sins.

First 12 hours are usually ok. Then, there is the grumpiness that accompanies everyone’s hunger, and a frenetic, temporary personality style that annoys anyone within five feet.

Some fast to “feel Jewish”, some fast because they want to prove they can or to “clean their bodies”. I have always been a good faster. I feel completely fine, even after a 25 hour fast. As a result, the point of fasting never really resonated. But suddenly, I get it. For me, the value of the fast isn’t in actually abstaining from eating – it’s from abstaining from life. In our crazy world - a day of unpluggedness is welcome by all, especially by me. The way I see it, Yom Kippur is becoming this eclectic new-age type of experience. Each person puts his own personal and individualistic spin on the day.

What to do? What to do? Well, for people like myself, there’s the internet, so we can blog or chat. We can play/listen to music with headphones or quietly, or read that book we have been trying to finish for decades. I’m sure god will forgive us for that.

I certainly forgive you all. The one thing I will ask for forgiveness for are my true feelings of wanting to bash some people heads in. I’m pretty sure that’s an impure desire, or is it?

Till later,
Whole lotta love.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I hate the way that you are so sarcastic

I’m sarcastic. Almost everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm. I can’t help it; it is built in my DNA. Sometimes, something I may mean in a sarcastic manner may be seen as being just plain mean. I’m sure I’ve taken it far from time to time, but I try to make sure to make fun of myself as much as I make fun of anything else, and I guess that's my little way of justifying it, but some of you just don't go for that kind of humor… and that's of course your right, and I respect that.

My circle of closest friends knows that sarcasm just rolls off my tongue. Even if it doesn’t come with a wink and a smile, they know I mean well. I won't ever cross the line because I know my boundaries but hey - everyone is different. Just let me know what offends you, and I will stop and won't go that far the next time around. If you do not have a sense of humor, or if you insist on taking yourself very seriously, our "friendship" will probably fizzle out...

I simply don’t have any desire to surround myself with people who take themselves so seriously that they get offended by every single statement that comes out of my mouth and is so obviously ridicule that even a chimp could understand that it is just a joke. And as for people thinking I’m an ass…I probably am, and I therefore find others’ opinion of my character to be quite fucking irrelevant.

So, you have a choice. Lighten up and enjoy being my friend, or go do something else with your time and come back when you get over yourself.

Till later,
Whole lotta love.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Out in the Midwest, is the city I love the best: a town so smart its spelling stars with: C - H - I - C... Chicago!

So I wrote this post about a month ago and just realized that I’ve never actually posted it. Well, better late than never, so here it goes:
I’ve been a member of the Architecture club on campus since my first semester in college, and took over as president of the club during my second year. Those of you who know me, would probably say “who the hell gave Rachel this responsibility?!” Well, we all had our doubts but, I’ve been a pretty damn good president! (the best, if you ask me :)) I’ve put a lot of effort and time into it and actually enjoyed every second of it. The UCC Architecture Club is not like any other club on campus. Since architecture students spend a lot of time together (days and nights) in the studio, we all become really close to each other. We started going on these “architecture trips,” in which we explore some of the most amazing buildings in the U.S. In the past two years, we went on numerous sites within NJ and NY, and traveled to Baltimore, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Boston and many more. When graduation was drawing near, I just knew I have to leave with a big bang and started planning a 6-day trip to Chicago. No one thought that I could actually pull this one off, but guess what? I did, and it was freaking awesome!!

Chicago is now one of my favorite cities. It is so alive with activity, and there is always something to do. I loved being able to just take in all the amazing sights and sounds. Seriously, if you have never been to Chicago, go soon!

We arrived at the Windy City Monday morning. Don’t ask me how, but we have actually managed to get lost in the airport on the way to the train (“Follow the blue arrow!” was apparently not clear enough). Getting to our sick hotel in the loop district was no problem due to the fact that one of us was walking with a GPS (how retarded, I know). During our 5 days there, we walked all over the downtown area, which provided us with a good look at the heart of Chicago. The towering buildings (major turn on), swanky store fronts and general city smells and sounds all created a very memorable experience. Every day, we were eating our way through Chicago one place at a time. I actually think Chicago is one of the best food cities in the world. That’s right, I said the world. We had a wine reception every day at 5-6pm in our hotel, and I was actually trying to work the trip schedule around it (I can’t really say no to free wine and sangria)…We spent the nights drinking (shocker), playing pool, listening to some really good music, watching concerts, and making ridiculous videos at the hotel room when we are hammered in the mornings (bars close up at 4am, and of course we were the last to leave every single night).

At any rate, our trip was generally a blast. Everyone did incredibly well with all of the time people spent together and general craziness.
I'm going to miss you guys. This trip was the perfect ending to the 2 years that we have spent together.

Till later,
Whole lotta love.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Once in a Lifetime

There are some things that you have to do once in your life. No, I don’t mean the classics like getting a good job, a big house, a spouse and kids, but a list of things that aren’t as widely spoken of, yet still have an everlasting impact on your life. Example of such things are living abroad – check, go to a rave – check, staying awake all night under the stars – check, throwing a drink in someone’s face – check, having the balls to quit a job you hate – check, having sex in a submarine – check, going on a spontaneous road trip with your best friend – check, absolutely absurd, ridiculous, and offensive drunken behavior… yes, it’s not secret that I like to get my drink on, but unlike most people, booze is actually my BFF. But when partying like a rockstar, expect to have a truly terrible day at work the next day. Can you say “epic hangover?”

The beginning of the night before started out as fun as they all do, however it quickly turned to the blurriness of the booze. Don't remember doing anything stupid, but of course friends being the friends that they are revel in their own booze-induced haze.

Without getting into too much detail, highlights of the night included me trying to convince this old guy, “my new best friend,” that I was a penguin, and teaching him new techniques on how to drink with a beak.

I woke up the day after at my best friend’s dorm. I started crawling down the stairs towards my car wearing an oversized t-shirt on top of my dress and nice black pumps, only to discover that it was parent’s weekend and everyone were in the building’s entrance. As I attempted to cautiously stubble in the door, a mother looked at her daughter and said "That’s what you call the walk of shame, honey." This was the precise moment that I said to myself “never again, never!”

Till later,

Whole lotta love.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road…

May 26th, 2010. Graduation Day! If you live on the east coast you’ve probably noticed how it went from winter to “sort of spring” to “full on summer” here in Jersey that day. I forgot all about the crazy hot, humid, so gross out you can barely catch your breath weather, which is so typical to the Israeli summer. The day’s weather led school leaders to move the ceremony indoors. As we were starting to march into the hall, the whole not having my family be there for me got me very distraught. That moment, I felt incredibly homesick. I missed my family, my friends, my childhood, the people, the beaches, the sounds and smells, and even the weather. It doubled when they called out my name.

And still, despite the homesickness, I would rather be living here. Sorry Israeli friends! Maybe someday I will recount the tale of how Tel Aviv destroyed me, but not enough time has passed for it to be funny, so not today.

Moving my tassel from right to left was the reality of the day: I’m done. I graduated! These past two years at UCC have been a pleasant surprise. I ended up spending more time up at school than I thought, and I loved every minute of it! Now that I graduated and leaving this place to further the rest of my studies, I do look back with a certain amount of sadness as I think of all the relationships I had built there. So many friends who became my family... I love you all, and trust me - this is not goodbye!

For many of my fellow graduates, this ceremony marked the end of a chapter and the beginning of adult life. However, for me, college graduation is only a speed bump in the long road that has become a working study of architecture. While I am ready for the next step in my life, I am happy and thankful for the past two years that have gotten me ready for this point. I’m glad I came to UCC and for the experience I’ve had here. It wasn’t what I expected, and I’m glad it wasn’t!

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and my whole life has been leading me in this direction. I don’t know why, but I am going to ride it out.

Leaving you with one of my favorite quotes:
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.”

Till later,

Whole lotta love.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Instant Karma (we all shine on)

Wayne dyer once said that how people treat you is their karma and how you react is yours. I wonder how many of you believe in the laws of karma. I very much do. Karma seems to keep things balanced, even and fair. Those of you who have never considered karma would not question why things happen. I do. I'm always astonished by the way it works though I have no idea how come it does.

Back in the days karma was all about the idea that what goes around comes around. For every event that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first. Nowadays the word karma is often followed by "is a bitch," and often regarded as those funny little moments of win in life. I think that every one of you has had moments like this. My best one yet was when I agreed when a cop asked if he could cut in front of me when the light turned green. As soon as we went through the light he turned on his lights and pulled over the guy in front of me who had cut me off at the last intersection. (Ain't karma a bitch?)

Most people do good deeds and call it karma. I ask, where is the karma? Don't get me wrong, it's not that doing good deeds is a bad thing, but karma is doing both good and bad.

In the past few weeks I have witnessed karma working twice. Not on me but on two other people. The message was clear to me; judgment is sure, and glory is possible; That as we sow, we reap; and that we are responsible not only for our own lives but also for the lives of all those we affect and who we can affect.
"well, we all shine on," Lennon sang, declaring that we cannot possibly be here to spend our lives suffering. So why do we limit ourselves to one small place, one role, when we are all made for greater things?

Just a little something to think about.

And remember - what goes around, comes around. Both ways.

Till later,

Whole lotta love.